Fuck unconditional love.
You can’t do it.
It’s an impossible goal
that makes you violent inside.
But you can
your imperfect attempts to love,
your conditional search for love,
your failure to reach the ideal,
your sorrow, your fear,
your exquisite shame,
your ecstasy and your agony,
your inherited ideas of love,
your messy, deeply conditioned human love,
Remember, even your failure to love
is welcome here,
And that is the true meaning
of unconditional love.
We don’t like some human beings because they reflect
something we don’t like inside ourselves.
We think it is in the other, but actually
we carry this trait ourselves.
Now, if you were empty of this trait,
that you don’t like, you wouldn’t judge it.
When you are free of that judgement,
the trait ceases to appear, even external to you.
You don’t see it, or at least you look towards it
with great compassion and understanding,
because you know it’s not intentional.
We are not really ignorant by choice.
It seems like something is hiding the real seeing.
So when you meet someone whose presence
triggers discomfort within yourself,
often it is because there is something there
within you worth reflecting upon.
Now I take you a step further than this.
This which you are seeing in others and in yourself,
this self that you find fault with, is only the idea
you have of who you are and its own conditioning.
It is not the true Self. It is only an acquired state,
the learned or constructed self.
This is where all the bad smell is coming from.
Rather than rejecting those encounters,
The wise welcome them.
(from ‘White Fire’)