It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.
“Your gift is where your wound is”
“Life is relationship. We are constantly relating to one thing or another. However, within this infinite sphere, the loving relationships are undoubtedly the most powerful catalyst or activator of the truth. If life is a school, relationships are our university. Through relationships we have a chance to mature and activate the human values that facilitate our evolution. This process happens because the other, regardless of whoever they may be, is always acting as a mirror that reflects the parts of ourselves that we need to see. Sometimes, the other reflects aspects of the higher truth and the Being that dwells within us, and other times they reflect aspects of the transitory truths that also inhabit us.”
~ Sri Prem Baba, from the book Love and Be Free
When you are lying, when you are keeping a secret, when you are with holding information or feelings in any moment, you are always doing that to protect something meaningless. You are usually protecting a memory to preserve a constant state of being. You can’t see that what you are protecting is meaningless because of the illusion of the self you are protecting is blocking your view. When, through telling the truth, you destroy that illusion, you can then see that it was meaningless.
Meaninglessness is of a great value. When you finally get that who you actually are is empty and meaningless, it does not matter to you whether you are a jerk or not. There is where your power lives. You might have an image of yourself as a “good” person. You may lie to keep from “hurting someone else’s feelings”. The someone else you are thinking of is even more ephemeral then the self image you are protecting. The people you protect by lying are just as imaginary as the self image you maintain when you lie to protect yourself. This is the imaginary world of adolescence. The odds are against growing beyond adolescence in our adolescent society. The odds favour most of us, most of the time, remaining polite impotent fools who think we are special, but somehow don’t get what we deserve. Most people feel like life hasn’t lived up to its billing, has’t turned out right, hasn’t rewarded us appropriately. After a while, we give up thinking we are so hot and start dreaming about what we could have been. This is the way life usually goes for most of us. We have all been waiting for a long time to grow beyond these positive and negative self images, and afraid do do so. Most of us never make it beyond adolescent hope and hype and disappointment. Wishing is a way to remove oneself from what is going on now. Hope springs eternal. Fuck hope. Hope is how most of us avoid growing up. The power of positive thinking is the biggest load of bullshit of our day. Positive thinking is for negative people. With positive thinking and affirmations, we start from an image of ourselves as flawed, and try to use thinking as a strategy to make ourselves whole. Thinking is not the source of power. Being is the source of power. And in being, we are already whole…. The mind grows out of being … when the mind is not imprisoning being. it’s a marvellous thing. Its activities are fun. Fantasies are fun, predicting and controlling are fun, getting praise is fun, getting food is fun, organising to produce results is fun, creating is fun. What justifies all of that work it took to develop a mind is that it turns out to be a great toy. I recommend having fun – Although I don’t recommend making another set of morals out of the philosophy of fun. It is okay not to get the most out of life. It is fine to let life happen and not get all the cookies. Getting the most out of life is too much work anyway. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Let up on everything, including this. – RADICAL HONESTY – Brad Blanton –
If only if you could see that the body is hungry and you are seeing this and knowing this; if only you could see that the body is sick, that it is old, that it is on the verge of death and all this you are seeing and knowing as a witness…. You are the witness to all these happenings. The whole drama is enacted in the body, as though the body were a vast stage, and all the characters projections of the mind within that body. And you – you view it all from a distance; you are the audience! There is in you a doer-ness, by which the world is created, and there is in you a witnessing too, through which Brahman is seen. Asleep you cannot remember this; even awake during the day you keep forgetting. The moment your body is hurt, you forget that it is the body, not you, who has been hurt, and that you have simply known the happening.
This is the essence of all sadhana that the moment the doer takes up the space, wake up! Don’t allow him to fill the space. Leave all the actions – the desires, the hungers and thirsts – to the body; let the body do the deeds, and you only keep the capacity to know with you, just the awareness, just the art of seeing.
What is the secret of his bliss? It is that he is not a doer; he is not after pleasure and enjoyment. He simply sits there on his high branch, watching the games of those below. And when you are not on the merry-go-round, when you are not seeking indulgence, then the happiness may not be yours, but neither is the unhappiness. It is in desiring to make happiness your own that you inevitably make unhappiness yours. It is in saying farewell to happiness by remaining a witness to it that you bid all your unhappiness goodbye. Of course, we all want to bid farewell to unhappiness, but only to our unhappiness! The happiness we want to keep, and go on enjoying. So it is in the unhappiness that people want to be a witness.